Boy meets girl. Chase her. Make her fall. Got her. Got bored. Found someone then leave.
This would have to be the most accurate narration about most relationships nowadays. Falling in love is truly a bliss. Some would even describe it like a spell that can make the world go round. Can be for the better or worst, depending on how you’ll handle it and associate to your own being.
It can make you the dumbest person on earth for making stupid decisions and sacrifices all for the sake of love. It can also leave the biggest chunk in your heart and change your perspective with the word love. But going through the most painful experience can be the best lesson in life and mold you to become a better and stronger version of yourself. I myself got to experience both for that matter. I’ve got to experience both worlds.
To be treated like a princess and be the most beautiful girl in the eyes of my partner and To be cheated on for another girl, beg to be loved again and be the most ridiculous and desperate girl in the eyes of my cheating partner.
I thought of writing and eventually share on what I did and how I handle and rebuild myself when shit happens and will happen just in case haha!
I am NO expert with dating and relationships, but one thing is for sure I’ve seen enough.
If you will ask me the scariest thing about love nowadays is no longer between the irreconcilable differences between you and your partner. That overused term that you will mostly hear when your favorite celebrity couple called it quits. With the world, I’m living in its very rare that I’ll be hearing such stories or even comfort a friend because he/she got heart broken since the partner can’t find any mutual thing or reason with the 2 of them to continue dating. Everyday fighting over the simplest or silliest stuff and little did you know, the famous line “It’s not you, It’s me” break up line will arise. Which by the way is complete Bullshit!
– Why would you even ask her on a date in the first place? Girls
– Why would you even say YES to the invite in the first place? Boys That’s why you have the “The Chase” or the “Get to know me part”
I personally think that this is stage that should not be missed. It’s ideal for you and that someone to go on several dates before making it official.
Why? You don’t just let anyone into your life just because they are cute or meaty slice. You don’t let anyone to just simply hug you, hold your hands and put your tongue down her throat cause you both feel like it (maybe this one will work for someone who doesn’t have any guts and balls to commit a relationship and just wanted an overnight pleasure) All ideal relationships started in this kind of phase for both to realize that they share the same thoughts, hobbies and values.
I mean, why would you agree to be in a relationship with someone if you know that you are going on a battle each and every day. Complete waste of time isn’t it? – So if your bf or gf used this lame excuse? LEAVE ASAP. But the scariest and hardest part to deal with is knowing that even if you consider yourself as the most loyal, caring and loving person on earth and can do anything and everything for love (insert Meatloaf’s epic song) NOTHING LAST FOREVER. Rewind …” The scariest thing about love nowadays is NO longer between the irreconcilable differences between you and your partner, but knowing that there is SOMEONE in the picture IS.
INFIDELITY is probably the worst reason why a boy and a girl who used to be madly in love with each other have to go on their own ways. One will be happy, the other one will need time to heal. It’s not going to be easy, but when life – fate made its own way of making you realize that your precious self deserves more than what you have all that you have to do is accept it and move forward.
I have to admit that with all the relationships that I’ve had this one hit me like a rushing school bus since its my first time to be cheated on. It took me some time, hell a year for me to completely break free from the painful memories that haunts me and to finally realize that life has more to offer.
Here are my survival guidelines that I’ve used and can share. Honestly speaking, most of the tips that I have for this post is specifically for someone (also known as your ex boyfriend) who will just leave you hanging, give you tons of reason, leave with a crushed heart and soul and will soon be flashing a precious smile with his/her latest pick. Douche = Cheater. The title post needs to be justified LELZ.
First thing : If he called it quits? Don’t beg, Don’t ask. Accept his decision and leave.
The fact that he is asking for a break is already a clear proof that the love you once shared reached it’s fall out. At least on his end. A lot of questions will surely hit you on why he is asking for a break when all this time you thought that everything is doing good and you both are nothing but perfect to each other. (What we feel and think may have a different approach on your partner. This is not the perfect time for us to be single minded) But even if you ask him or at least try to know the answer, It will not change his mind/decision. Some say that for sudden break ups, Its already given that 80 – 90% of what made him do it (breaking up with you) is he already found a new one.
Which should lead us to the main reason of all the trouble. MEN are naturally polygamous. As long as they can, they will enjoy the privilege of “exploring” until they receive the contentment in a relationship. But this usually occur on their late 20’s or early 30’s. If he has the balls to cut your relationship. You should also have the courage to walk away with your head up. If you think that its the biggest mistake he has ever made because its only you who can give him the unconditional love. Let him be the one to realize that. If he didn’t, trust me its for the better.
Day after your break up , the moment you were asked to remove his or her tag in your “IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH” serves as your cue to UNFRIEND. Trust me. Its never a good or healthy thing to stay connected with your ex with their social networking accounts specially Facebook or Instagram. (Not unless you want to completely torture yourself) I had my fair share when i decided to keep track of his online activities. It breaks my heart each and every day seeing him happy and was able to carry on with his life without me in it. Worst case? Seeing him post happy pictures of his new girl.
For some reason I am hurting , to the point of me checking his account whenever I could. But to be honest it serves me some hilarious entertainment for each browse. Comparison will always be there and YES! you’ll also find yourself laughing your heart out seeing how his new girl looked like. I know its not the nicest thing to do since I am most likely comparing myself and the new girl (ever heard of the word bitter? Or insecure? Thats what you are creating sub consciously for stalking) – After a week or two, It’s time for you to let go of all the cheesiest pictures on your profile picture or worst cover photo. Show the world that you are better off alone and you are doing extremely fine.
But this is something not for the sake of your “internet friends” but for your own. Facebook eats up 94% of our daily living and it will not help if everytime that you’ll check your account or profile you will still see him via pictures and your happy momets together. Its a big NO to the overall process. If you need more than a week to have it deleted, you can always set it to Only Me under Settings. But make sure that you will not go Ga-ga peaking at it whenever you can.
Spend more time with the people who deserve it most. ~ If I can only turn back the hands of time, This is something I wish I did since Day 1. Crying over someone who never doubted to hurt you and found happiness in the company of someone else do not deserve all the crying. I mean its okay for a day or two because you are only human but crying for a week or worst over a month? Is never healthy at all. In reality being romantically involve with someone made you forget the people around you like family and friends. I know I am guilty as charged for this one.
But do remember your partner can leave you anytime and the ones you have neglected will always be there to comfort you and will never ran out of words to make you feel special and worth it. This is also a healthy way of putting yourself back in track. I mean i did go out night after night when I found out that my ex boyfriend finally came out with his new girl. Drinking session here, there, anywhere. I must say, I did feel good that night but it never changed anything. All I did is to be seen as this girl who got dumped and is now trying to find comfort with beers. I know, it doesnt sound and feel good.
Stop talking about him and what happened. Control the word vomit Talking about your ex and sharing to your friends with what happened will not help you to move on. Not even a bit. I remember myself sharing to the world how perfect we used to be, the complete details of the climax of our story. Why is it bad? Because when you are sharing this kind of story, your friends will then give you some advice and then the worst part.. the what if’s! You’ll then think of other things that you should have done and still can do to revive your story. This is also another way of self torture by the means of reminiscing.
You will try to relieve the best part (How you two started, that feeling of your first kiss, the moment you started calling each other baby or honey) and also the saddest as you will also go back with how you got your soul crushed (the time you found out he is with another girl, the moment he ask you that he is not happy with you anymore) Remember you are not moving forward but you are trying to go back and decided to hurt yourself once more.
Learn Self respect and Accept that everything happens for a reason. – I remember myself telling my past boyfriends. ” If you found someone, it’s better to be honest and say it up front instead of me finding it myself” This statement is true. People should understand that acceptance and moving on is easier to deal with when there is honesty about what went wrong and why it didn’t work for the both of you. Knowing that the one you love found happiness and fell in love with another person is one of the hardest truth / fact to accept.
That’s why most of the broken hearted ones especially the victims of infidelity needed some time moving on since the hardest and longest phase is being IN DENIAL. You want to think and convince yourself that the break up is a big mistake and the relationship is worth saving. Worst? You are thinking and convincing yourself that you are still the one that your partner love and needed. If I have to share one of the benefits of being cheated on, I guess it has given me all the time that I needed to collect inspirational quotes from Tumblr to keep me going hahahaha! I kid you not. Type #happiness #movingon and you will see what I am talking about. I stumble upon a quote
“Accept that some things are meant to happen but never meant to last” Whether the break up is caused by irreconcilable differences, infidelity or just plain “I got bored. That’s it” make no difference at all. You just have to thank the time and memories well spent because you have to admit that those are the happiest of your life. Let go of the past and don’t let the bad and painful memories haunt you. Don’t keep grudge to your ex regardless of how bad you two ended up. Because if you do all that you’ll think and feel are sadness and this will not allow yourself to still see the brighter side of why it happened. If the same person knocks in your heart again, Only time and fate can tell.
Till then Be Happy. Enjoy that amidst the heart ache you are still alive and living the life that you always have even before you met your ex.
Always remember that you are loved and worth it. Your parents and family raise you with all the love and care in the world. Dont let a stranger mess it up and leave fresh tears in your eyes. If you can give the love and affection to someone who cant give the worth back, what more to that special one who is just waiting for your time together. I used to think that no one can love me again or I cant love the way I did before. You may lose hope with yourself but never lose hope with HIS plans for you. If not know, he is just preparing you to love again. To love again with no doubt and pretentions. After all, the best ones are always worth the wait. Note to yourself.
~You are beautiful and one of a kind. You deserve nothing but the best, happiness and love that the world can offer. No need to rush. You have to learn how to love yourself first. Fix everything that was once crushed and without you knowing, you are a glowing piece of art walking and it will surely capture the eyes of many. But it can only captivate the heart of that one person who can see not just the beauty but a survivor from the previous heart ache and disappointment.
This time, he has no plans of breaking it again but flourish it what what it really deserves. In time, the right one will come. In love, the best and strongest ones takes time. It may not be the smoothest road all the time but its worth the time and journey. Happiness and sadness are always required because then again all is fair in love and war.
Till the next loves,